The lie we all feed upon.
Updated: Aug 19, 2021
We have been sold a lie that we should be liked to be happy and that pain and vulnerability is weakness. We’ve been fed a narrative that pain is for fixing, numbing, deflecting, hiding and ignoring. Women in particular are feeling more lost and more disconnected from themselves and are looking and moving outward towards perfectionism to gain validation and approval of others. This constant battle of burying your feelings with the pursuit of happiness and perfection leaves you with an unease, an ache within. Instead of turning inward, toward the ache, you mistakenly believe there is something “wrong” with you and you turn outward and try to “do” more. This traps you in a cycle of constant competing and hustling for your worthiness. The feeling of “not good enough” seems never ending. It is damaging and ultimately it is damaging our children, the very ones we want to protect. I want to help women wake up and stop sleep walking through their lives. I want to help you see clearly and reconnect with yourself.
We, as humans, are wired for connection. We want to be seen, really seen, heard, really heard, loved, really loved. We want to know that what we say matters …… that we matter.……that you matter. You do matter, I’ve heard your stories and although each person is unique the patterns are the same. I want to help as many people as possible to become aware of their patterns and help them break free from their restrictive mould and conditioned mindset.
I want to let you know that there are no “good” or “bad” emotions. You have been told to “suck it up, get on with it, be grateful, stop moaning, stop complaining” but the more you bury your emotions the heavier the load you carry and the more disconnected you become. The more you suck it up, the more food or alcohol you have to drink to suck down, to annihilate and drown those feelings. All the while drowning your-self in the process. All feelings are for feeling. When you try to numb the hurt, fear, shame, sadness you end up numbing excitement, happiness, love, joy. Although it may sound scary to feel these feelings it will liberate you. It will reconnect you to parts your thought were dead. It will free you to become who you truly are.
Anger, sadness, grief, shame, fear will not destroy you but being numb will. Numbness will prevent you from becoming who you are. My dearest child, you are not “broken” you are numb. I want you to reconnect with the parts of yourself that you buried, like trusting your own intuition before you deferred to other people’s advice. Resurrect the part of yourself that can stand, unapologetically, in your own power and not surrender yourself to the expectations of others. On this journey I hope that you have the courage to resurrect the parts of yourself that you were trained to mistrust, hide and abandon in order to keep others comfortable.
My hope is for you to reconnect to yourself, your emotions, your intuition, your imagination, your courage, and step into who it is you are. To free yourself from the expectations of others and the fear of their disappointment. When you have the choice of disappointing someone else or betraying yourself, you chose to disappointing the other every single time. That you learn that fear is actually your friend and is guiding you inward, towards yourself. You will learn that fear is your greatest guide and therefore your greatest liberation. When you unlock yourself from the shackles of shame and stop “keeping the peace” at the price of self-abandonment.
This is not a final destination but a continual journey, one of which i am looking forward to meeting you on.